HI!!!! October 22, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Follow your instincts, Hopeless Rom-antics, Persona, Uncategorized.add a comment
hey guys!! Yeah i know, i am back from the dead :)
So let me give you a little recap on my life:
For the last few weeks I have been trying to decipher a few things about my being. I had been lost, and up until a few months ago i decided to accept myself as who i am…
and fuck the rest.
I began to explore myself, and found that….
I couldn’t be more fucking lost.
Here’s what i gathered so far:
1) I like hamburgers and salads
when i think of salads…. i think of the colors and vibrancy of the vegetation and its nutritional potential for the future.
When i think of a hamburger…. I think of the thick, juicy meat. I think of the enjoyment and bliss it will bring me the moment i stick it in my mouth.
2) I am partial to nipple play. (thank you)
3) I can make out for hours….(thank you again)
4) I rather like smoking cigarettes
and finally,
5) I have a fear of nearing adulthood neither being happy nor fulfilled . :/
I dont know where my instincts are taking me, but its not a very comfortable place… Does that mean i am on the right track? or just a fucking dumb ass?
I am nothing, if not incredibly appetizing! August 20, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
This is my new AVATAR! It looks almost as good as i do. 
Curiosity Killed the Cat and Won Me 100 Dollars. August 19, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Follow your instincts, Persona, Recommended Posts.Tags: Family, Life, Trust
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My mother is great, and i love her dearly. She is very supportive and is always there for me. Still, there are times when she crosses the very broad line of privacy. I am not talking about the fine line of privacy between mother and child. I am fucking talking about the line of eavesdropping. I am talking about Putting-your-ear-on-the-door-to-listen, kinda shit.
I was in my bedroom.
I had the door shut (this was for no particular reason).
I was double lining with friends on my cell phone as well as talking to a number of people on my computer. The conversation on the phone was with a girl who had a crush and wanted to have two of her friend witness her confession (i know, totally high school).
On my computer, i was talking shit with most of my friends. The exeption was my cousin. I was telling him a great number of things. My life, and my secrets…
Everything.
This was a very serious conversation, so naturally i was in and out of the gossip occuring in my left ear.
At this moment, I got an IM from someone i want very little to do with. My natural response was to voice my irritation. I began to whine. “Ah, this guy doesn’t-” I stopped myself before the whole slanderous phrase could permeate the door.
Instinct struck me.
I got up and swung open the door. My eyes glaring: Ready to meet the eyes of my mother who i know would be in the shadows.
I was correct. My mother had been trying to eavesdrop on my conversation.
“Your grandfather is making noise so i came to check up on him” she said in a composed fashion. “shitty excuse”, i thought to myself.
My eyes remained fixed on hers for a few moments. I wanted to make sure she knew that i was silently calling her out on her shitty ass lie.
I shook my head as i turned my back on her and went back into my room. “Cant fucking believe this shit!”, I repeated to myself over and over.
An hour later, my mother came back to my room with embarasment all over her face. “Papo, i am leaving to Bimini early tomorrow morning, and here is some money.”
“Bitch, i don’t want your damn money! You think you can buy me or some shit?!?”, i yelled in my mind while I nodded, not saying a word. She placed the 100 dollar bill on my nightstand and left.
Now i am wondering who should feel bad?
I mean, she was probably just trying to make sure that nothing bad was going on. Although that may be true, she still invaded my privacy and questioned my trustworthiness.
I, on the other hand treated the situation badly. I protected my privacy, but i could have handled her intrusion better.
It seems she is readily crossing lines and willing to suffer awkwardness.:(
I forgive her because i love her and i cant bare being angry with her. I just hope this doesn’t become something frequent and annoying.
LOL @ enticing foods! August 15, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Spiritual Seekage.Tags: fasting, food, spirituality
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Day two was pretty cool. I wasn’t that hungry today because i bought some juices that will keep my stomach from being empty.
Waking up came with a lingering strange feeling. I was awake. Wide awake. But my body was weak and heavy. Still i wasn’t complaining, maybe i was just too tired to complain…
Throughout the day, i was very calm and in deep thought. My mind was buzzing with ideas and random reasoning’s that i cared nothing about…
I went to the mall to get my mind off of my hunger.
Throughout the mall, I dragged my legs up and down while scrutinizing my every pace. I was careful trying not to inhale too much air nor exhale too little. I was very aware that if i over indulged in lets say my intake of air, i would completely drain myself of energy.
Although this state of existance was bothersome, it was also very interesteing. I was revealed to little things that i would otherwise ignore. For example, every time i walked under a light bulb the mall or in my house i felt the heat tingle against my skin.
This fasting is turning out to be kinda fun 
Abstain Abstain Abstain!!! August 14, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Spiritual Seekage.1 comment so far
Day one of my fast was not that bad, to be honest. Yes i was hungry, but nothing i couldn’t handle. I never ate breakfast or lunch anyway. Towards the night of my first day, my stomach was not having anymore of my shit. It wanted food, and it wanted it fast. I am convinced that my stomach was suggesting recipes to my brain because while i was sitting down, my mind was flashing images of me pulling foods out of my fridge that i knew didn’t exist.
I held back.
I shut my eyes and meditated about what i wanted and tried to ignore the cravings my stomach was surely the culprit of.
Spiritual Seekage August 10, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Follow your instincts, Spiritual Seekage.1 comment so far
Hey guys,
Sorry i have not posted these past two days.
I have been wanting to become more spiritual. This is because when i allow myself to be spiritual, things flow better.
I am not a strong believer of numerology, but i believe there is some truth to it. Having said that, i am going to go on a fast and meditate as much as possible for 10 days (meaning rebirth). My real goal would have to 19 or 28 days, but i have to start small. This in part, will weaken my physical body and allow my spiritual to take control. I cant wait
My hopes are that i will become in tune with myself and the world around me. This in part will also help me creatively and mentally.
I will keep you guys posted on whats going on.
Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place… August 7, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Follow your instincts, Recommended Posts.Tags: Family, Friends, Life, Love
1 comment so far
Dear reader,
This is a metaphor of a problem that is shaking my world and making it fall into shambles.
For years now, I have had a pair of suspenders that I love very dearly. They were always there when I needed their support, their hold, and their embrace – always ready to be worn unconditionally.
A close friend.
Although for a while I regretfully stopped using them and lived my life without their greatly needed support, it was because I was afraid their elasticity was not enough to bear what I had been wearing.
I recently gave up that life and came back to my suspenders, hoping they would allow themselves to be worn again.
They graciously agreed.
“I have to tell him what I need to tell him,” my instincts commanded me.
To my surprise, my suspenders took to the weight of my clothes very well, hardly stretching.
But as time went on, I could see a few bands being exposed from the weight. “Hardly noticeable,” I thought to myself, not giving too much thought.
I was happy, confident that my suspenders would neither tear nor lose their elasticity to my choice of clothes.
Last week, unfortunately, I came across a pair of pants that neither my suspenders nor I ever encountered in person – a completely new material altogether. “Let’s try these out,” I said to myself. “I have never tried them, and who knows, maybe I would like them. I have a right to be happy too,” I assured myself.
I was a little weary because I wasn’t sure my suspenders would take to these pants as well as I did.
And today I am noticing great flaws in my suspenders; they seem not to be elastic anymore. Many bands are exposed, making my suspenders look tired and worn. Have I pushed my suspenders too far? They seem to be accepting the pants, only because of their shape and not because of their elasticity (which is greatly lacking).
Have I pushed my suspenders so far beyond their threshold that they will no longer support my style of clothes?
My style of life?
“Maybe he was not meant to hear anything at all,” I whisper to myself every day now.
Have my instincts failed me?
BAMF Rachel: Defeating Sobriety One Day at a Time! August 7, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Friends you all should read!.add a comment
Here guys, this is a good friend of mine. Rachel, is Filipino and she gets red faced when she is drunk. Still she is a great person and has coherent thoughts, which most lack.
Bicycle Happenings August 6, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Only in Miami, Recommended Posts.Tags: Humor, Life, Stupidity
3 comments
Living in Miami I cross a number of things that send my imagination running through several scenarios.
-Today, for example. I just got out of my final. I pulled out of the parking lot and decided to take a different route to get home. “Let’s try to avoid some traffic,” I sighed to myself, half knowing it would not work.
-It didn’t. I was stuck in oddly loud traffic for at least ten minutes. I looked around to see what was causing all the commotion, where off the corner of my eye, I saw these kids (probably around 16) on their bikes. There were about six kids and two bikes. You do the math.
They were in the middle of the intersection swaying left and right, trying to balance the three bodies on each of the bikes.
My mind immediately painted a bloody scene of bodies on the asphalt with twisted blue metal all over the hood of a car.
I was startled when I saw another bike coming from the sidewalk to meet the other. “OH SHIT!” I gasped as Isaw the bike brake abruptly. The passenger on the handle bars shot forward into the middle of the street.
-Again my mind quickly assumed images of blood and guts all over the street.
“Dumb ass kids” i muttered.
Thankfully the kids made it out of thier circus act alive. Still you have to admit: Only in Miami
Slava’s SnowShow August 3, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Out in the Town.1 comment so far
I was sitting in the audience, my grandmother and parents to my right. I was reading the Playbill that was mentioning that the SnowShow was a fantastic show that captivates its audiences all around the world. The lights dimmed. My heart rate elevated with excitement. The show started off a little slow. literally. The first 30 minutes of the show were in slow motion. Then it just got stranger and stranger. Each scene was incoherent. No one knew what was going on. That was the funny part.
My take on it was that it was sort of like a dream, where characters and settings change as quickly as your mind generates them.
I tried looking at the website so that i could understand more. Unfortunately the website only tells me the history of Slava and his show of snow. Evidently, Slava’s Snow Show is a huge hit all around the world. Yet all my family and I could do was laugh at its randomness. My mom, especially made fun of the show, while it was still going on.
“Thank God i didn’t bring my dad” she strained, trying to keep her laughter to a muffle.
The people in front of us over heard and started to giggle. One of them looked back and replied, as she held back tears of laughter “I need a few more drinks to actually enjoy this”.
I believe at the end of the show, that same lady said “The best part was when it ended”
The best part that i like about the show was the interaction with the audience. i wont spoil any of it .
