HI!!!! October 22, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Follow your instincts, Hopeless Rom-antics, Persona, Uncategorized.add a comment
hey guys!! Yeah i know, i am back from the dead :)
So let me give you a little recap on my life:
For the last few weeks I have been trying to decipher a few things about my being. I had been lost, and up until a few months ago i decided to accept myself as who i am…
and fuck the rest.
I began to explore myself, and found that….
I couldn’t be more fucking lost.
Here’s what i gathered so far:
1) I like hamburgers and salads
when i think of salads…. i think of the colors and vibrancy of the vegetation and its nutritional potential for the future.
When i think of a hamburger…. I think of the thick, juicy meat. I think of the enjoyment and bliss it will bring me the moment i stick it in my mouth.
2) I am partial to nipple play. (thank you)
3) I can make out for hours….(thank you again)
4) I rather like smoking cigarettes
and finally,
5) I have a fear of nearing adulthood neither being happy nor fulfilled . :/
I dont know where my instincts are taking me, but its not a very comfortable place… Does that mean i am on the right track? or just a fucking dumb ass?
Curiosity Killed the Cat and Won Me 100 Dollars. August 19, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Follow your instincts, Persona, Recommended Posts.Tags: Family, Life, Trust
3 comments
My mother is great, and i love her dearly. She is very supportive and is always there for me. Still, there are times when she crosses the very broad line of privacy. I am not talking about the fine line of privacy between mother and child. I am fucking talking about the line of eavesdropping. I am talking about Putting-your-ear-on-the-door-to-listen, kinda shit.
I was in my bedroom.
I had the door shut (this was for no particular reason).
I was double lining with friends on my cell phone as well as talking to a number of people on my computer. The conversation on the phone was with a girl who had a crush and wanted to have two of her friend witness her confession (i know, totally high school).
On my computer, i was talking shit with most of my friends. The exeption was my cousin. I was telling him a great number of things. My life, and my secrets…
Everything.
This was a very serious conversation, so naturally i was in and out of the gossip occuring in my left ear.
At this moment, I got an IM from someone i want very little to do with. My natural response was to voice my irritation. I began to whine. “Ah, this guy doesn’t-” I stopped myself before the whole slanderous phrase could permeate the door.
Instinct struck me.
I got up and swung open the door. My eyes glaring: Ready to meet the eyes of my mother who i know would be in the shadows.
I was correct. My mother had been trying to eavesdrop on my conversation.
“Your grandfather is making noise so i came to check up on him” she said in a composed fashion. “shitty excuse”, i thought to myself.
My eyes remained fixed on hers for a few moments. I wanted to make sure she knew that i was silently calling her out on her shitty ass lie.
I shook my head as i turned my back on her and went back into my room. “Cant fucking believe this shit!”, I repeated to myself over and over.
An hour later, my mother came back to my room with embarasment all over her face. “Papo, i am leaving to Bimini early tomorrow morning, and here is some money.”
“Bitch, i don’t want your damn money! You think you can buy me or some shit?!?”, i yelled in my mind while I nodded, not saying a word. She placed the 100 dollar bill on my nightstand and left.
Now i am wondering who should feel bad?
I mean, she was probably just trying to make sure that nothing bad was going on. Although that may be true, she still invaded my privacy and questioned my trustworthiness.
I, on the other hand treated the situation badly. I protected my privacy, but i could have handled her intrusion better.
It seems she is readily crossing lines and willing to suffer awkwardness.:(
I forgive her because i love her and i cant bare being angry with her. I just hope this doesn’t become something frequent and annoying.
Persona August 2, 2008
Posted by explicitdistortion in Persona.8 comments
I was wondering just now, should someone be blamed for being shallow?
Is being shallow something someone develops, or is it something that we are born with, in our genes perhaps?
Is being shallow a kind of selfishness? As in, can shallowness be controlled? Eliminated?
Or is shallowness more of an ego trip?
At what point does someone develop this self value? If you can call it that.
I dont know if i am getting my point across.
I guess you can look at shallowness almost like a prejudice, then that person is an asshole.
But do things change if someone does it out of self respect? As in, “I can do better”
Are people brought up thinking like that?
I dont know, i am just throwing out questions. I will definetly keep you guys posted, as soon as i find my answers.

